it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
