So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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