She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Terrible idea I love it
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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