I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize