Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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