Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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