Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
