Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
