it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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