She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
