But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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