i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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