So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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