I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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