It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
