Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
