Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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