I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
