So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
