is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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