i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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