He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
