my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
