I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
