She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Randomize
