Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
