it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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