I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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