i can't believe i had my finger in that
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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