hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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