she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
