you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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