She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
