he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
