It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
