Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
