sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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