your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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