We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
