Christians are straight up FREAKS
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
