sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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