You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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