My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
