so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
