She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
