you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
