Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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