I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
