Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
