Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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