she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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