Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
