What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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