so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
