its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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