He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
