we have pet lesbian snakes
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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