i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he thought i was a dude.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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