She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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