the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize