before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Someone signed my nipple.
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