We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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