I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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