and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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