i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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