Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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