After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
