from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize