Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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