Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize