I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
