Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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