I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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