Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
